男人？& I'm still waiting. =(

男人

男人是一种什么样的动物？

是视觉？触觉？还嗅觉动物呢？

我试着去想，可是不管我多努力都想不通。

最近，因为一些事情让我对男人越来越没信心。

从小，我就一直深信一个人一辈子只会爱一个人。

在我的成长过程中，我发现现实往往和虚拟不符合。

但我还是以前的我，还是希望会有那么一个能一辈子爱我的人。

就像现在的我还在等待那个人的出现，那个有资格让我一辈子都爱着的人。

等待。。。

我相信当我的那个他出现的话，我一定会勇敢地相信爱情。

直到那天。。。

I wondered and pondered if I have judged you wrongly.

I am confused, especially, when too many "coincidents" ("" as I don't know if it's really coincidents yet!) and words from people around us contradicts whatever you told me.

Everything in my world came crashing down that very moment.

I have never been strong nor secure in my entire 21 years of life.

Despite doing so many things trying to shut you out from my heart, I am still waiting for you to appear in person, out of the blue, and explaining everything to me.

Perhaps, it's no longer possible.

Perhaps, it's really my fate.

Perhaps, it's all just a dream.

I know a lot of people will come and scold me for typing such an entry but what if I have really misunderstood that person?

Haiz.

I'm trying very hard to numb myself from all the studying and working.

But, instead of being able to study and do my job well, I realised that I have in return compensated my health for it.

I don't know how long more I can endure before I collapse one day in class.

Have you been reading my blog recently to understand or feel my feelings and thoughts?

Or you have already give up and forget that there's still such a person here?